“If you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, bring others with you”. -John-Paul Digorio
Photo by Marvin Meyer on Unsplash
Playing Not To Lose and even Playing To Win are the biggest detriment to people’s mindsets when it comes to having true wealth. Yes, even Playing To Win, which is worn as a badge of honor by most entrepreneurs is limiting to success.
These ways of looking at the world and success are governed by scarcity, require sacrifice, become toxic to quality of life and sustainable success. Ultimately, whether you are Playing To Win by hustling, grinding and trying to outwork everyone or just Playing Not To Lose by holding on to every cent you earn and trying to save yourself rich, you will find that either way will come with more sacrifices than gain and more regret than success.
Below are overviews of different personas that encompass these four losing games and mindsets.The same characteristics, with a new paradigm, a new mindset will set you free and engage a completely different game.
Not one of competition, but one of value creation.
Not one of sacrifice, but one of collaboration.
If you see yourself in any of these, then you can use this awareness to discover the same characteristics that can become winning personas.
First we will take a look at the two personas in the Playing Not To Lose game.
Playing Not To Lose
This person is governed by fear.
All of their decisions about business and money are made with worry and stress. They are constantly defending against losing what little they have. They are pessimistic and often bitter. If you share your vision with a Miser, they will tear it down. They think the world owes them something and take whatever they can glean from it, then retreat back to safety, rarely contributing anything of value in return.
They are also judgmental about how everyone else goes about business and financial practices. They either think everyone is doing it wrong, are taking too much risk or are stuck in the “wrong thing”. They live with a scarcity mindset and their life is built on a scrimp-and-save philosophy.
They use their talents to scrimp, save and sacrifice. By coupon clipping, budgeting and spending most of their financial life looking for deals, they become selfish and do all they can to hold on to what they have. Expect them to resist change and complain.
This has nothing to do with the political ideology, but is instead a way of using your personal resources and wealth. This person feels a little condescending. The Conservative has been talking for 20 years about something they’ve always planned on doing one day, someday, but it never actually happened. Maybe it’s a vacation they’ve always wanted to take or a home they dreamed about, but never ended up buying.
The Conservative is always hesitant. They overanalyze everything and use what has gone wrong in the past to predict what will inevitably fail in the future. They save for retirement, where they expect life to be better, which is the reason they are willing to delay gratification for everything today. They feel entitled to a better future, but have little control since it is about investing in markets they don’t control.
Both of these personas play losing games because they have a scarcity mindset that focuses on survival which tends to be selfish and limiting. No amount of hard work will ever create wealth in this worldview. Even if these people create a good nest egg, they are unlikely to enjoy it.
Now let’s look at another form of scarcity where people are stuck in the future are rarely enjoy the present. The following are two different personas in the Playing To Win game.
Playing To Win
This person is all about the hustle. They are always busy, are very impatient and often hard to please. Nothing is ever enough for The Striver.
They are the ones who have the Bluetooth earpiece in their ear while you are trying to have a conversation with them and you can’t tell if they are talking to you or someone else. They brag about how they hardly get any sleep, as if that’s a good thing! They think they are just going to out-work everyone else to achieve their vision.
They have a ‘do-whatever-it-takes’ mentality and they will take any costs to get there. They don’t stop to think to themselves what those costs may be and are always working for more, but more of what?
The Striver is the one who feels the guiltiest when they are not working. If you confront a Striver about their toxic tendencies, they are going to tell you that they are doing it for their family, so that they can put food on the table. They say they are doing it for you. The truth is that they are actually doing it for themselves.
The High Roller
You know this one. They wear their sunglasses inside. If you’ve ever met or spoken to a High Roller then this description probably sounds familiar. They pretend to show a great interest in you and have you believe they will take you to a whole other level if you just do all you can to earn their favor. They don’t learn much about you, but spend most of the time telling you everything about themselves; who they are, what they’re doing, what a big deal they are and then name-drop. They name-drop like crazy. They finish by asking you to invest in something that you know nothing about, which they try to convince you is the coolest thing ever. They only talk in terms of revenue, but pretend like it’s their profit. They are very disconnected from others in general. Their vision is only big enough to see themselves in it. Think narcissist.
The good news: If you choose abundance, value creation and have a paradigm shift, you can immediately create results through cooperation over competition.
People Who Always Win
There’s only a certain amount of money you can save, but the amount of value you can create has expansive possibilities.
Let’s look at 4 different personas that are the opposites of The Miser, The Conservative, The Striver, and The High Roller…
The Mindful Manager
Who is the Mindful Manager? This individual will pay attention to details that others may ignore. When they look to save money in business, they don’t do it by cutting things out. Instead they look for superior alternatives or substitutes. With their way of handling it, you never lose anything to costs—you only gain. In this way they are extremely resourceful.
They consider utilization. If there is something in your company that you pay for and don’t use (which many of us are guilty of), they are the first to notice it. They get the team to consider if they are using that resource regularly and to its potential and if not, then they look to remove the clutter. They pay attention to those kinds of details.
The Mindful Manager looks to optimize efficiency. When it comes to money, they look for innovative ways and methods to save more of what you make. They pay attention to money leaks having to do with taxes, insurance and other things that are mandatory to pay, but easy to over-pay.
The Miser’s only thought is about what to eliminate—the Mindful Manager thinks about what to create.
The Planner is going to look for how to create stability, instead of deferring to delaying gratification, which is the calling card of The Conservative. They strive to create long term security, as opposed to just not doing anything because they fear it will be too risky. They act to mitigate risk over just avoiding it.
The Planner is thoughtful. They take time to think and assess through things, which is all a part of the planning process. This brings structure and order to your team, which allows for optimum efficiency when carrying out your vision.
They are strategic. They look to see how something would work if implemented and consider what factors might keep it from performing. They are the ultimate risk mitigator.
The Creator is going to focus on growth and make sure there’s progress—but not growth at all cost! Growth through innovation and effectiveness. Growth that scales and expands your company in a sustainable and positive way for everyone involved.
They are going to ask better questions than their counterpart, who would be someone too “busy” to take the time for more careful consideration. The Creator asks why you are doing something a certain way and if there is a better way, they’ll be the ones to find it. They look to see if you can reach more people with your message. They look to add more to your impact.
The Creator is motivating to others because they lead by example. Their energy can become contagious. Instead of looking to others to fix problems, they make sure they are part of the solution. And this is how they motivate and create momentum; because they are determined.
They don’t let the little obstacles derail everything. Instead they ask what they can learn from it, and move everyone forward.
No one is quite as adaptable as The Catalyst. This character is a talented connector. They are constantly bringing different people with different complimenting skill sets together, they are bringing in people who have relationships that can advance or give you the advantage for whatever you are up to. In this way, one of their most important functions is building and adding invaluable players to your team.
They are the ultimate delegator. They are not going to get stuck in all the minutiae of details on their own. Instead they are the ones who are going to go out and find the Mindful Manager’s and others to build an A-Team. They make sure all of the previously mentioned personas get put to good use. The Catalyst is usually the one who has a compelling vision which others catch and are inspired to follow.
It Takes A Team
When we work alone we are easily pulled down by the negative parts of our personality that creates a bad persona for us. But when we involve others and seek to share our vision with those who believe in it, it can bring out the best in ourselves and everyone involved.
Your vision is big. Your vision is expansive. It can be so easy to drown in what you are trying to accomplish along the way.
Don’t brave it alone.
With the right people—the right team—you will find that not only is your vision possible, but that it will have an even bigger impact than you ever could have imagined.
Which persona best describes you? Which one is least like you? Who do you know that is great where you are not? Which skill can make the biggest difference right away?
When you focus on working with others to solve problems and serve people, you avoid the limited results that the losing games create and instead expand your means by reaching more people or more deeply impacting existing clients.
Scarcity tells entrepreneurs if you want something done right, do it yourself and they are again trapped in the losing games. On the other hand, I heard John-Paul Digorio say “ If you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, bring others with you”.
The losing games come from rules dictated, fed and determined by society. Whenever people get stuck in any of these personas, there are proverbial body-bags left everywhere. Relationships that have been destroyed, health that has been forfeited and experiences that never happen in the name of hard work or saving. It’s not true wealth!
None of these make a bad person, it’s just wrong methodologies that don’t let them reach their full potential. Use value creation as the change agent to move from a losing game to an infinite and winning game.
From survival to thriving.
True wealth is a life where you are the best version of yourself. True wealth is where those you love and care about are provided for, safe and where you are no longer steered by fear or greed, but by a desire to give value and live a life you really love.